Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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