I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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