I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
