Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
