is your mom at the bar?
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
