Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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