Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
