you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
