Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
