i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
