you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
