Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
