I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
