at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
