No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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