New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
