dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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