i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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