The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
ttyl tear gas
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
