i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
