I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
