Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
