Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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