Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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