so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
