how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
