so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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