She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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