my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
