Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
