i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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