Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Enjoy the penises
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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