Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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