i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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