You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
