Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
