I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
