I want to have your abortion
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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