...so i touched it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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