peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
