no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
