i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
