i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
