Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
