I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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