I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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