I look better un-naked...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
