i just google imaged poop.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
