eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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