I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
